Londinium

On Tuesday this week, it was exactly 3 years since I moved to Ireland. I arrived with my suitcase late on a Saturday evening, slightly hungover from my leaving party night out in Manchester.  It was also on Tuesday this week that I accepted an offer to start a new job in London.  I've been looking for a while now and I've had quite a few interviews on the way, but out of all of them, this is the one I would have picked if I'd been given the choice - so it's worked out well :)

Living in London has been my dream ever since I was 17 and I used to go down over the weekend to visit my sister in South Ealing.  The mix of people from all over the world, the energy, the excitement, the fast paced life, the smell of the underground, the massive range of restaurants, the style and the city life.  I'm sure it will be quite different living there, to actually visiting there.  But it's nice to have one of my dreams come true.  I've been lucky with the timing too - 2 of my best friends recently moved there along with having some existing friends there already so I'm not going to be all on my ownsome lonesome.  In addition to this though, the other half of the musical duo I am in, also lives in London.  Due to our distance, we've only written a couple of songs together so far but I think we're both really excited to start working together again.  Our collective name is "Bilamie" and the name comes from 2 of our favourite artists: Billie Holiday and Amy Winehouse - our music so far has been in a similar vein too - jazz/blues/funky soul.  I have to admit, I'm terribly excited.  I really miss being in a band and the buzz of playing live.  I really feel alive when I'm singing.

So it's a big time of change in the next month.

But in addition to all this, I am going to be back in my home land, for Christmas :)

Glastonbury 2011 - The artists I saw

I got back from Glastonbury at 2am this morning - I seem to have acquired some kind of illness in addition to the 6 days hangover...lol  However, aside from that, I saw loads of fantastic gigs whilst there, including one of my favourite gigs of all time - a surprise appearance from PULP on The Park stage on Saturday.  I'd never seen them before so it was like a dream come true to find out that they were playing - there was a lovely review of Pulp in the Guardian too.

Here's a quick list of the other artists I also saw:

Mista Verde - never seen this guy before but was very impressed! Great lyrics, music and engaging stage presence! I need to find somewhere to buy his music now...


My Tiger, My Timing
These guys kicked off the Sunday morning on the John Peel stage.  I was kinda sad cos they didn't play the only song I knew by them (I Am The Sound) but aside from this, the songs were upbeat, a few synths and the lead singer had a charming quality.

Dylan Le Blanc
Started the festival off with this on the Friday morning.  He was a little shy on stage but the songs came across well.

K T Tunstall
I thought she was ace!  She had a little anecdote or story behind most of the songs and dedicated them to different groups of people based upon things like whether they'd recently broken up with someone or if it was their first Glastonbury.  I'm not familiar with most of her back catalogue but the songs had me hooked!


Asian Dub Foundation
Headlining G-Stage (used to be The Glade) on Saturday night - great energy as always!

Erol Alkan
My second favourite artist of the festival - a true master of the decks and it was so nice to hear several other people in the audience commenting similarly too!

Annie Mac
Only saw the start of this after Erol but it was really hard to drag myself away!

Esbah and The Witch
I enjoyed the general vibe and the drumming/percussion during this.

Metronomy
I hadn't heard of these before but they've got some pretty good tunes up their sleeves!

Coldplay
One of the few bands I actively dislike although I have to say they played a number of more upbeat songs I was not familiar with I enjoyed listening to.

Rumer
Her voice and some melodies really reminds me of Carol Carpenter.  Lovely slow and chilled out for a summer's day.

Tame Impala
Only saw these guys briefly...

Stornaway
Heard some good comments about these and it was deffo a good gig! They kicked off the Pyramid stage on Saturday morning.  The lead singer bridged the gaps between the songs with random pieces of trivia, keeping us amused.  Their lovely English folk influenced indie was a soothing way to start the day.

Beyonce
Absolute class.  What a performer!  In addition to playing her hits, and her latest single (Run The World) and a medley of Destiny's Child hits, she even played an Alanis Morissette cover.  She owned the stage and the night and the crowd.

Pendulum
Enjoyed this :)

Plan B
I've liked Plan B for a few years now but in all honesty, I thought the selection of songs was poorly chosen and he didn't play anything I was looking forward to hearing him perform :-(

Laura Marling
I was disappointed here too - mainly because "Alas, I Cannot Swim" is one of my favourite albums of all time and we only got 2, maybe 3 songs from it - not including Tap At My Window or Night Terror.  I was also hoping she would play New Romantic.  The majority of the set was from the latest album, which is fair enough, it was just a shame for me.  Aside from that though, her voice was gorgeous as always, every song she played was faultless in performance and she has a lovely warming stage presence.

Paul Simon
Unfortunately, during Paul Simon I was on a mission looking for an umbrella to shield my burning skin, alcohol (to stop the pain, obviously!!) and a toilet - once all missions had been accomplished successfully, the set was over.  I heard a good selection of hits though!

Don McLean
It was wonderful to hear American Pie - I will remember that moment forever!  He also played Vincent (Starry Starry Night) - which I have also covered myself, but it in all honesty, the rest of the set just wasn't very engaging, including Vincent.  I felt like he either wasn't in touch with the music, or himself, or the crowd.

The Low Anthem
I only saw the last few songs from this set - none of which I was familiar with and they didn't really grab me on the day. 

Mumford & Sons
Once again, I'm not familiar with any Mumford & Sons songs, but I enjoyed listening to them.

The Vaccines
I was kicking myself during this because the only reason I wanted to see them was to hear Post Break-Up Sex being played - I was listening to that song on repeat before Glasto and then totally let it pass by whilst I was at the bar :-(  The rest of the set sounded great though!

The Naked and Famous
Caught the tail end of this set - will definitely be getting the album though after what I heard!

Man Like Me
Excellent stage presence - fun, dedicated to giving a great performance and decent tunes too!  I was waiting for London Town, which they did an excellent job of!

Cherri V
I'd never heard of Cherri V before but I'll certainly be keeping a look out for the name in future!

Whisky

My parent's bought me my first kitten when I was 12, I called her Whisky.

She died on Friday night...I've been crying at intervals since...and some words and things just came out of me... I think I have a recording to upload too...

Link to MP3: Whisky

Whisky
You were here
16 years
Even now
You're still my little girl

I grew from a child
To a man with you
Our love never changed
Truley unconditional

I'm so sorry
I wasn't there
When you closed your eyes
For the last time

So when I close my eyes tonight
Maybe you can come around for a while
We'll lay on the ground, you can sleep for one last time
And we can say goodbye

Bad News...

Awww... I had some gutting news over the weekend... My long term plan after Ireland was to move to Brighton and once there, I was looking forward to working with my musician friend Beth and making sweet music together and playing gigs... We have a duo together that we call Bilamie - we've only written a couple of songs so far but I've totally loved every minute of it... She's such a wonderful person to work with musically - vibrant, intuitive, experimental, and so encouraging... Circumstances recently have changed for Beth though so she is having to move back up to the North of England which means she won't be there when I move to Brighton.  But it's not the end of the world - we can still work together in future and it will at least be easier when we're in the same country... :-)

I was still going to do my own solo stuff even if Bilamie worked out so I won't be looking for another partner to work with - the idea was just that I wanted to work with Beth because she's such a talented musician and we have a similar outlook on music, life and love... So it's not terrible news, it's just a change of plan :)

After the buzz and excitement...

Omg.

What a week...

A week last Sunday I had to take Antonio (my car) back to the UK before the Irish government turned him into Cola Cans... I missed my ferry (followed sign to the wrong Port!) and had to hang around 5 hours for the next one and then when my ferry got into thr UK, I had to drive to my parents.. I didn't get to sleep till 6am and was up for working from home at 8... lol Then Monday night I was back in Ireland but there were no coaches to go back to Athlone (and obviously I didn't have a car anymore) so I had to get a hotel and then catch the first coach in the morning... However, I couldn't sleep that night and only had 2 hours again... Then the night after I slept really well until 4am and then that was pretty much it... I only started to feel normal again yesterday...

I've taken a bit of a break from music this week. The last few weeks have been really intense - rehearsing night after night and changing the songs for the competition... But I'm actually ITCHING to get started again now and can't wait until the evening... I think the first thing I am going to do is have a few run through's of the song I did for Aitor "Try a Little Tenderness" (I spent so long on it, I don't want to not practice it and then completely forget it!) and then I'm going to start working on one of the covers for Eduardo. Before I can record again though, I need to buy Ableton Suite 8 which is €700 so I'm not sure when I'm going to have the money for that what with all the crazy amounts I've spent on double car insurance and everything to do with that recently...

I got some really lovely messages from people on Facebook after the competition last week giving words of support...

Easter weeekend was cool... I was meant to start my covers for Eduardo but I couldn't find the email with the songs... :-(  However, I started recording a song I started writing last week... It was acoustic guitar based but I'm starting with the drums and bass and synth and building it up from there now and then maybe add guitar in later...

I've only got tonight thought and then I'm off to France on a business trip tomorrow until Friday and then June is over to visit until Sunday so it's going to be a crazy week...

Palace Tonight!

Ok so I'm gonna head down to The Palace Bar tonight (the place where I am playing next week!) and see what the local competition is like...

I need to see what everyone else is doing before I decide what I want to do... I'll be playing 2 songs - so I thought one of my own to start and then a cover song to leave them with - that should be cool! But we'll see...

Best not get too wrecked tonight - I need to remember what I've seen! lol

Sunrise

I love dawn. You start to think about all the things the day could have in store for you. More so, I think you believe in yourself more at dawn than any other time of the day - it makes you feel like anything is possible if you just put your mind to it.

:-)

Returning to Shine... and Garageband

Am listening to Joni Mitchell's "Shine" album right now... It feels completely appropriate for my feelings at the moment... When I first got into this album, it was Autumn/Winter 2007 and I was living with Mark at The Apple Building and I was completely in love with him...but by this particular point I knew that nothing was going to happen between us... And I just felt completely devastated inside and I used to go to a branch of Starbucks and they would always be playing Shine. At the time, I felt like I had lost an integral part of me... In reality I had lost nothing but my faith in a fantasy... I had realised, for real, that nothing was ever going to happen between Mark and I... and that had took a year to surface in my mind... Obviously I'd lost something that I never had in the first place, but whenever you lose something dear to you, you are going to have a period of mourning...and that's what I had to do for a while in order to come back stronger afterwards. Both listening to Shine, and going to this Starbucks after work and having a relaxing coffee gave me sooooo much comfort... I thought I was never going to hear another new Joni Mitchell album.. in fact she hadn't released one since I had got into her music in 2003 so it was absolutely amazing when the album came out, also when I actually liked it, and then even more so when it started to hold so much significance to me.

I feel kind of the same now. I've lost Sandeep and this is my period of mourning. It's so strange because I haven't felt like listening to Shine since I got over Mark... Whenever I listened to it, it just felt like I was tapping into a feeling that I didn't want to address... a feeling of desolateness, weakenss, starting from scratch, finding myself again... But all of those things I feel again right now... and this album now feels just as important, as relevant and as comforting as it did 2 years ago... The funny thing is I never really got over Mark until I met Sandeep...

I've written a lot of lyrics this week about mine and San's break up... I don't know why, but this week has been the most difficult week since we first split back in December... It shouldn't be because Tarni is home and I have more people around... But I guess I'm just feeling lost. I just don't know what to do!! I'm confused.

I was sooooo happy last year... In periods during the past, I have had happiness but I don't think I'd ever had such a feeling of contentness as I had last year. I remember I'd leave work at the wekeend and drive to Dublin to the airport and I'd be listening to Alas I Cannot Swim by Laura Marling and thinking about what me and Sandeep were going to get up to that weekend... I'd catch my flight, I'd have a small bottle of red wine and I'd sit on the plane just thinking how lucky I was to have such a wonderful guy to be with, to have parents that love me, to have such caring friends, to have got my big break in my career, to be talented enough to write my own songs and express myself, I'd even think about how lucky I was to have grown up in a country where I got an education, and a decent place to live... I don't think I'd ever felt so thankful to the world and I was so happy to admit it. I started writing songs for an EP and even the lyrics were positive...

"Suddenly I feel
Like I'm on holiday
I'll talk to strangers
I'll read in cafes

I'll wake up at dawn
Even in the summer
I'll watch every sunrise
And I'll feel stronger

And when I wake
I'm straight out of bed
And I feel rested
Watered and fed

Finally I feel
And I don't have to think
Soon all will be in place
Finding my missing link"

This was early Summer... and then Summer was amazing too... and then I don't know what happened...

All I have to do though is get through these few months and I know that I will be ok. I need to plan. I need things to work towards and to look forward to.

Music-wise, I've had a good week... I wrote this crazy experimental piece on Tuesday night... but it was a bit mental - crazy rhythms with a vocal part over the top... I bought 2 congos over the weekend so I've been playing those a bit too. And I've been learning to use a new software programme called Garageband which I got free with my iMac. Although I really don't want to, I want to buy Abelton Suiter but its about €700.... it's absolutely extortionate... and I certainly can't afford it right now...

So I'll make use of Garageband for the time being...

Ok...time for me to go....x

Beautiful Star

Am feeling a lot more positive today than when I wrote the last post... I'm sure I probably have a long way to go before I'll feel better about Sandeep - but I know it's an adjustment period and it's only been 6 weeks anyway...

It's a strange time right now, Sandeep is gone, Maik has moved back to Germany, Jesus and Tarni are on holiday, Douglas isn't talking to me despite many attempts, and I guess, I feel kind of lost... But on the other side of that... this week I've been so healthy with food and exercise and I went for dinner with Sarah which was absolutely lovely, I've been in contact with my Mum a lot more since Christmas, I've been talking to a lovely Brazilian guy called Eduardo and yesterday I felt kind of human again and like I had a bit more strength inside me to deal with stuff.

So to celebrate, I bleached my hair! haha Most people at work were pretty shocked... But they only know me at work where I'm a lot quieter...well...most of the time...exception of Xmas parties etc... :-/ And today is sunny... And I guess I'm feeling thankful to be alive and for my friends and my family... See it's obvious I'm pretty emotional... but at least it's in a good way :-)

A Change Is Gonna Come

This blog is mainly for song lyrics as part of my music blog... but my personal life effects my music a lot...

Me and Sandeep broke up in December...

At first I was singing all my songs I'd writtin in the past about previous break ups to make myself feel better - Kev, Alex, Paul Dietician, Douglas... And then at Christmas I wrote one for Sandeep called "After San".. but now I can't even play... Pain usually inspires me to write but at the moment I feel too dead to even pick up an instrument. I thought I was getting better at dealing with pain, and maybe I am... it's not been long since it happened... I guess I was staying strong but I got sick a couple of days ago and I think that's really brought me down...

January is a cold dark month at the best of times... Tomorrow is the weekend. And I have nice red wine.