Am feeling a lot more positive today than when I wrote the last post... I'm sure I probably have a long way to go before I'll feel better about Sandeep - but I know it's an adjustment period and it's only been 6 weeks anyway...
It's a strange time right now, Sandeep is gone, Maik has moved back to Germany, Jesus and Tarni are on holiday, Douglas isn't talking to me despite many attempts, and I guess, I feel kind of lost... But on the other side of that... this week I've been so healthy with food and exercise and I went for dinner with Sarah which was absolutely lovely, I've been in contact with my Mum a lot more since Christmas, I've been talking to a lovely Brazilian guy called Eduardo and yesterday I felt kind of human again and like I had a bit more strength inside me to deal with stuff.
So to celebrate, I bleached my hair! haha Most people at work were pretty shocked... But they only know me at work where I'm a lot quieter...well...most of the time...exception of Xmas parties etc... :-/ And today is sunny... And I guess I'm feeling thankful to be alive and for my friends and my family... See it's obvious I'm pretty emotional... but at least it's in a good way :-)
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Warm (lyrics)
Was completely head over heels and infatuated when I wrote this - I was drunk on love, autumn, alcohol and a certain brand of cereal...
Free MP3: Web Sheldon - Warm
Hey mister,
I didn't used to know your name
Or the kinda game you were playing
You were just some real cute guy
In a club in a city
Miles away
Hey mister,
So what would you say if I were to say
Would you go on a date with me?
Wanted to get to know you better
You wrote me a letter
I keep it in my diary
Can you feel the chill
It's a frosty dawn
I can feel the chill
I'd like to keep you warm
I'd like to put my arms around you
Kiss you when I greet you
Hold hands when we want to
Be "Me and you"
Kiss you whilst you're calling
Taste you in the morning
Hold you when I'm phoning in sick for you
To be "Me and you"
Hey mister,
So was that your arm or my leg
And what did the (Smashing) Pumpkins say to you?
As soon as they left
You turned over to me
And we kissed and I sank into you
Everybody says I'm so lucky
And isn't it exciting
And yes it is
And I swear I'm growing up as we speak
For once
I'm no emotional freak
Can you feel the chill
It's a frosty dawn
I can feel the chill
I'd like to keep you warm
I'd like to put my arms around you
Kiss you when I greet you
Hold hands when we want to
Be "Me and you"
Kiss you whilst you're calling
Taste you in the morning
Hold you when I'm phoning in sick for you
To be "Me and you"
Whatever happens anytime, anywhere
Where we're all going or what that curl means in your hair
Wouldn't it be so much easier if we could read minds
I think I'd trade in my favourite cords for that sometime
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
I'd like to put my arms around you
Kiss you when I greet you
Hold hands when we want to
Be "Me and you"
Kiss you whilst you're calling
Taste you in the morning
Hold you when I'm phoning in sick for you
To be "Me and you"
Can you feel the chill?
I'd like to keep you warm
Free MP3: Web Sheldon - Warm
Hey mister,
I didn't used to know your name
Or the kinda game you were playing
You were just some real cute guy
In a club in a city
Miles away
Hey mister,
So what would you say if I were to say
Would you go on a date with me?
Wanted to get to know you better
You wrote me a letter
I keep it in my diary
Can you feel the chill
It's a frosty dawn
I can feel the chill
I'd like to keep you warm
I'd like to put my arms around you
Kiss you when I greet you
Hold hands when we want to
Be "Me and you"
Kiss you whilst you're calling
Taste you in the morning
Hold you when I'm phoning in sick for you
To be "Me and you"
Hey mister,
So was that your arm or my leg
And what did the (Smashing) Pumpkins say to you?
As soon as they left
You turned over to me
And we kissed and I sank into you
Everybody says I'm so lucky
And isn't it exciting
And yes it is
And I swear I'm growing up as we speak
For once
I'm no emotional freak
Can you feel the chill
It's a frosty dawn
I can feel the chill
I'd like to keep you warm
I'd like to put my arms around you
Kiss you when I greet you
Hold hands when we want to
Be "Me and you"
Kiss you whilst you're calling
Taste you in the morning
Hold you when I'm phoning in sick for you
To be "Me and you"
Whatever happens anytime, anywhere
Where we're all going or what that curl means in your hair
Wouldn't it be so much easier if we could read minds
I think I'd trade in my favourite cords for that sometime
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?
I'd like to put my arms around you
Kiss you when I greet you
Hold hands when we want to
Be "Me and you"
Kiss you whilst you're calling
Taste you in the morning
Hold you when I'm phoning in sick for you
To be "Me and you"
Can you feel the chill?
I'd like to keep you warm
Slaying Dragons (lyrics)
I like this song cos it's kinda weird... And it paints a good picture of how crap my life was at the time haha
Today I don't feel like Slaying Dragons
Success is too much like hard work
But I'm still subjecting myself to this guilt
I'm just sitting here, wondering
Go with the natural flow
It's what I need and if it's not coming naturally, then why...
Push it
Push it
Push it
Push it
Push it
Push it
It's weird though
I never seem to feel alive or awake
It's more a series of interlocking events
I just seem to be living my life
For losing my life through alcohol
That's all that I look forward to and that can't be no way of...
Life
Life
Life
Life
Life
Life
11:11, 11:12,
11:13, 22:22
Please explain the significance?
People at work say I never smile anymore
Just bore into the screen
What's happened to me? I feel so...
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Today I don't feel like Slaying Dragons
Success is too much like hard work
But I'm still subjecting myself to this guilt
I'm just sitting here, wondering
Go with the natural flow
It's what I need and if it's not coming naturally, then why...
Push it
Push it
Push it
Push it
Push it
Push it
It's weird though
I never seem to feel alive or awake
It's more a series of interlocking events
I just seem to be living my life
For losing my life through alcohol
That's all that I look forward to and that can't be no way of...
Life
Life
Life
Life
Life
Life
11:11, 11:12,
11:13, 22:22
Please explain the significance?
People at work say I never smile anymore
Just bore into the screen
What's happened to me? I feel so...
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Good Friends (lyrics)
This is kinda sad... I think it's one of my favourite break up songs that I've written...
Free MP3: Web Sheldon - Good Friends (live 14.12.2009)
I never wrote a love song for you
I was too occupied being in love with you
And before the rainy days were amazing days
Those days are so special to relate to
It started from good friends and fun
The best way it could be
Ignored our heads, listened to our hearts
Lived for the day right from the start
And your rings means I'll love you forever and a day
And if you can smile one second longer
You're that little bit stronger
And you can be proud of yourself
I'm sure we're still allowed to help
And if you can walk one metre further
You're that little bit closer
To the place you want to be
So good luck darling
Even if that place isn't with me
I'll never get to hold you all through the night again
And keep you smiling and warm till the dawn again
And before amazing days, were crazy days
It was intense and passionate and soulful and you were just my friend
Your arms filled a space in my hearts lonely days
And your thoughts and your love were all so beautiful
Ignored our heads, listened to our hearts
Lived for the day right from the start
And your ring means I'll love you forever and a day
And if you can smile one second longer
You're that little bit stronger
And you can be proud of yourself
I'm sure we're still allowed to help
And if you can walk one metre further
You're that little bit closer
To the place you want to be
So good luck darling
Even if that place isn't with me
You made love and sex and dreams and thoughts fit all into one place
You gave hearts and smiles and happiness in our glory days
You hugged insecurities and tears far away
We walked on water from Sennen to St. Ives and tempted fate
And if you can smile one second longer
You're that little bit stronger
And you can be proud of yourself
I'm sure we're still allowed to help
And if you can walk one metre further
You're that little bit closer
To the place you want to be
So good luck darling
Even if that place isn't with me
Yes, good luck darling
And here's a toast to remaining good friends
Free MP3: Web Sheldon - Good Friends (live 14.12.2009)
I never wrote a love song for you
I was too occupied being in love with you
And before the rainy days were amazing days
Those days are so special to relate to
It started from good friends and fun
The best way it could be
Ignored our heads, listened to our hearts
Lived for the day right from the start
And your rings means I'll love you forever and a day
And if you can smile one second longer
You're that little bit stronger
And you can be proud of yourself
I'm sure we're still allowed to help
And if you can walk one metre further
You're that little bit closer
To the place you want to be
So good luck darling
Even if that place isn't with me
I'll never get to hold you all through the night again
And keep you smiling and warm till the dawn again
And before amazing days, were crazy days
It was intense and passionate and soulful and you were just my friend
Your arms filled a space in my hearts lonely days
And your thoughts and your love were all so beautiful
Ignored our heads, listened to our hearts
Lived for the day right from the start
And your ring means I'll love you forever and a day
And if you can smile one second longer
You're that little bit stronger
And you can be proud of yourself
I'm sure we're still allowed to help
And if you can walk one metre further
You're that little bit closer
To the place you want to be
So good luck darling
Even if that place isn't with me
You made love and sex and dreams and thoughts fit all into one place
You gave hearts and smiles and happiness in our glory days
You hugged insecurities and tears far away
We walked on water from Sennen to St. Ives and tempted fate
And if you can smile one second longer
You're that little bit stronger
And you can be proud of yourself
I'm sure we're still allowed to help
And if you can walk one metre further
You're that little bit closer
To the place you want to be
So good luck darling
Even if that place isn't with me
Yes, good luck darling
And here's a toast to remaining good friends
Dressed To Undress (Lyrics)
This was a track that I played with Mothership back in 2005...
Web Sheldon - Dressed To Undress (live 14.12.2010)
New secret
Another cigarette
Another snort of that
Leave the curtains back boy
Another brain
An entertaining game
It's a degrading shame
Oh what a lame excuse, ha!
What's this, hey
A boy in disarray
Enjoying this display
Head starting to sway
In this gracious room
A solacious mood
You tenacious fool
You're starting to drool
Hey isn't it bright in here
We're in the spotlight here
Can you feel this here?
Come on, Cavalier!
Listen to me
This is a good house,
We'll have none of that
None of that
None of that in here
Get the best
Dressed To Undress
Oh, be my guest
There's no second best, ha!
I suggest you
Confess all to
Come so close to
This infectious point of view
Hey isn't it bright in here
We're in the spotlight here
Can you feel this here?
Come on, Cavalier!
Listen to me
This is a good house,
We'll have none of that
None of that
None of that in here
Hey isn't it bright in here
We're in the spotlight here
Can you feel this here?
Come on, Cavalier!
Hey boy are you high now?
Are you excited now?
Are you ready now?
Come on, I'll take you now!
Listen to me
This is a good house,
We'll have none of that
None of that
None of that in here
Web Sheldon - Dressed To Undress (live 14.12.2010)
New secret
Another cigarette
Another snort of that
Leave the curtains back boy
Another brain
An entertaining game
It's a degrading shame
Oh what a lame excuse, ha!
What's this, hey
A boy in disarray
Enjoying this display
Head starting to sway
In this gracious room
A solacious mood
You tenacious fool
You're starting to drool
Hey isn't it bright in here
We're in the spotlight here
Can you feel this here?
Come on, Cavalier!
Listen to me
This is a good house,
We'll have none of that
None of that
None of that in here
Get the best
Dressed To Undress
Oh, be my guest
There's no second best, ha!
I suggest you
Confess all to
Come so close to
This infectious point of view
Hey isn't it bright in here
We're in the spotlight here
Can you feel this here?
Come on, Cavalier!
Listen to me
This is a good house,
We'll have none of that
None of that
None of that in here
Hey isn't it bright in here
We're in the spotlight here
Can you feel this here?
Come on, Cavalier!
Hey boy are you high now?
Are you excited now?
Are you ready now?
Come on, I'll take you now!
Listen to me
This is a good house,
We'll have none of that
None of that
None of that in here
After San (lyrics)
2 weeks ago
You called me in the morning
I was jet lagged from New York
And hungover
You said you'd been sad lately
Stumbled over your words
And then you said
"It's not gonna work"
And you started crying, crying
And I started trying
To work out exactly what these words meant
And you started crying, crying
And I saw there listening
To my boyfried telling me I'm no more than a friend
Not anymore
So I laid down in our bed of tears
Started to think back over this year
I listened to "The Treehouse Song"
We were gonna move in before too long
You only asked me 2 months ago
Before things changed like I'd never know
And you started crying, crying
And I started trying
To work out exactly what these words meant
And you started crying, crying
And I saw there listening
To my boyfried telling me I'm no more than a friend
Not anymore
Is this because I've been smoking
Have I not called you enough
Maybe I shouldn't have gone to New York
Is this because of my mood swings?
Do my texts take too long?
You couldn't even tell me what was wrong, no
You couldn't even tell me what was wrong, no
You couldn't even tell me what I'd done wrong
You called me in the morning
I was jet lagged from New York
And hungover
You said you'd been sad lately
Stumbled over your words
And then you said
"It's not gonna work"
And you started crying, crying
And I started trying
To work out exactly what these words meant
And you started crying, crying
And I saw there listening
To my boyfried telling me I'm no more than a friend
Not anymore
So I laid down in our bed of tears
Started to think back over this year
I listened to "The Treehouse Song"
We were gonna move in before too long
You only asked me 2 months ago
Before things changed like I'd never know
And you started crying, crying
And I started trying
To work out exactly what these words meant
And you started crying, crying
And I saw there listening
To my boyfried telling me I'm no more than a friend
Not anymore
Is this because I've been smoking
Have I not called you enough
Maybe I shouldn't have gone to New York
Is this because of my mood swings?
Do my texts take too long?
You couldn't even tell me what was wrong, no
You couldn't even tell me what was wrong, no
You couldn't even tell me what I'd done wrong
Takin' The High (Lyrics)
Recorded this in 2005...
Web Sheldon - Takin' The High
So you're here but you're not here
So it happened but it didn't
Angel on the shoulder
Quietely suggesting that you shouldn't
Oh, it's falling apart
So you're here but you're not here
So it happened but it didn't
Angel on the shoulder
Screamin' that you shouldn't
Oh, oh, oh
It's falling apart, apart, apart, apart
Oh, oh, oh
Why don't you get a room?
And now you're singing out of tune
Whenever you get to sing
Feelings are less than before
They all know it's leading nowhere
It's got nowhere to go
But the devil still dreams for more
Oh, oh, oh
It's falling apart, apart, apart, apart
Oh, oh, oh
Why don't you get a room?
And now you're looking miserbale
Kinda reverse intent
Change hand in hand with confusion (confusion)
He's the devil and the angel
He's the distant boyfriend
Caught up in love/lust illusion (illusion)
Oh, oh, oh
They're takin' the high high high high life
Oh, oh, oh
He's not gonna be a wife
And now you're singing out of tune
Whenever you get to sing
Feelings are less than before
They all know it's leading nowhere
It's got nowhere to go
But the devil still dreams for more
And now you're looking miserbale
Kinda reverse intent
Change hand in hand with confusion
He's the devil and the angel
He's the distant boyfriend
Caught up in love/lust illusion
Oh, oh, oh
It's falling apart, apart, apart, apart
Oh, oh, oh
Why don't you get a room?
Oh, oh, oh
They're takin' the high high high high life
Oh, oh, oh
He's not gonna be a wife
So you think that it's gone missing
Lost through all the kissing
Found abandoned on the covers
Of a few careless lovers
Careless lovers
Dirty lovers
Web Sheldon - Takin' The High
So you're here but you're not here
So it happened but it didn't
Angel on the shoulder
Quietely suggesting that you shouldn't
Oh, it's falling apart
So you're here but you're not here
So it happened but it didn't
Angel on the shoulder
Screamin' that you shouldn't
Oh, oh, oh
It's falling apart, apart, apart, apart
Oh, oh, oh
Why don't you get a room?
And now you're singing out of tune
Whenever you get to sing
Feelings are less than before
They all know it's leading nowhere
It's got nowhere to go
But the devil still dreams for more
Oh, oh, oh
It's falling apart, apart, apart, apart
Oh, oh, oh
Why don't you get a room?
And now you're looking miserbale
Kinda reverse intent
Change hand in hand with confusion (confusion)
He's the devil and the angel
He's the distant boyfriend
Caught up in love/lust illusion (illusion)
Oh, oh, oh
They're takin' the high high high high life
Oh, oh, oh
He's not gonna be a wife
And now you're singing out of tune
Whenever you get to sing
Feelings are less than before
They all know it's leading nowhere
It's got nowhere to go
But the devil still dreams for more
And now you're looking miserbale
Kinda reverse intent
Change hand in hand with confusion
He's the devil and the angel
He's the distant boyfriend
Caught up in love/lust illusion
Oh, oh, oh
It's falling apart, apart, apart, apart
Oh, oh, oh
Why don't you get a room?
Oh, oh, oh
They're takin' the high high high high life
Oh, oh, oh
He's not gonna be a wife
So you think that it's gone missing
Lost through all the kissing
Found abandoned on the covers
Of a few careless lovers
Careless lovers
Dirty lovers
Bite (Lyrics)
Am playing catch up at the moment, uploading lyrics to songs I've recorded in the past...
Free MP3: Web Sheldon - Bite
What are we to do if we can't make the time
If it's not worth the escape from the grind
What are we to do, haven't got the time of day
With what we do now, we won't make the grade
Feel your feet on the ground now
Survey this town now
Lose yourself or get found now
Just don't be so bored
Heaven forbid take control
Out of the routune hole
On the right or wrong road
Oh just cut the cords!
Just moving and moving
Go anywhere, really anywhere
Just biting and biting and biting
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Bite, Bite.
What am I to do
Enough triviality!
It's only the debut
My speciality
What am I to do
Can't hack authority
It could be nice to be
In the majority
Tick tick goes time now
When it didn't used to even exist
How did kids suddenly grow
While I tried nothing new
It's time for adventure
None-indulgence with pleasure
Not fat/sugar/leisure
On continuous loop
Just moving and moving
Go anywhere, really anywhere
Just biting and biting and biting
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Bite, Bite.
5 days a week
I wake a flea in my ear
Think I'll sack off
This managerial career
So shock, horror, trauma
Cos my make-up's all smeared
Well I make the decisions
And I decide not to be here
I don't want to win it
I'm not going to lose it
I don't want to just survive
In my safe little world
I scowl through the people
Give all strangers evils
But it's not how I feel
So it's not my world
Just moving and moving
Go anywhere, really anywhere
Just biting and biting and biting
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Bite, Bite.
Free MP3: Web Sheldon - Bite
What are we to do if we can't make the time
If it's not worth the escape from the grind
What are we to do, haven't got the time of day
With what we do now, we won't make the grade
Feel your feet on the ground now
Survey this town now
Lose yourself or get found now
Just don't be so bored
Heaven forbid take control
Out of the routune hole
On the right or wrong road
Oh just cut the cords!
Just moving and moving
Go anywhere, really anywhere
Just biting and biting and biting
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Bite, Bite.
What am I to do
Enough triviality!
It's only the debut
My speciality
What am I to do
Can't hack authority
It could be nice to be
In the majority
Tick tick goes time now
When it didn't used to even exist
How did kids suddenly grow
While I tried nothing new
It's time for adventure
None-indulgence with pleasure
Not fat/sugar/leisure
On continuous loop
Just moving and moving
Go anywhere, really anywhere
Just biting and biting and biting
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Bite, Bite.
5 days a week
I wake a flea in my ear
Think I'll sack off
This managerial career
So shock, horror, trauma
Cos my make-up's all smeared
Well I make the decisions
And I decide not to be here
I don't want to win it
I'm not going to lose it
I don't want to just survive
In my safe little world
I scowl through the people
Give all strangers evils
But it's not how I feel
So it's not my world
Just moving and moving
Go anywhere, really anywhere
Just biting and biting and biting
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Shock, horror, trauma,
Bite, bite, bite, bite
Bite, Bite.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
In History (Lyrics)
Download MP3: Web Sheldon - In History
If you see me out there
And my flirt is searching again
Well you can be rest assured
I don't feel the same for them
Well now I can't even say "Hello"
Could it be that I'm just that shallow
All my heart now feels is hollow
There's no shiny path to follow
Well my heart if wasted
It's broken, healing, but shy
And if they're interested
I just let them pass me by
When I found out where you loyalties lied
Well, didn't that just cut me down to size
Hell is freezing over but I'll be out by then
And maybe we can bring this shit to an end
And now you're
Running so fast you can't see what you left behind you
Hoping and showing those feelings don't find you
Only one question left to ask is
Why'd you do it to her
If you had my love we could've been flawlwess
Living in a fantasy world with Taurus
But you melted away before our history
In History
If I'm tempremental or angry
It's usually over you
Well I'm just hoping we can be
More loving, less cruel
It must be 99.9 in here
I'm drowning in Suzanne Vega's tears
Cos I know exactly what she means and
If I was In Liverpool I'd shake her hand
And now you're
Running so fast you can't see what you left behind you
Hoping and showing those feelings don't find you
Only one question left to ask is
Why'd you do it to her
If you had my love we could've been flawlwess
Living in a fantasy world with Taurus
But you melted away before our history
In History
So if you see me out there
And my flirt is searching again
Well you can be rest assured
I don't feel the same for them
If you see me out there
And my flirt is searching again
Well you can be rest assured
I don't feel the same for them
Well now I can't even say "Hello"
Could it be that I'm just that shallow
All my heart now feels is hollow
There's no shiny path to follow
Well my heart if wasted
It's broken, healing, but shy
And if they're interested
I just let them pass me by
When I found out where you loyalties lied
Well, didn't that just cut me down to size
Hell is freezing over but I'll be out by then
And maybe we can bring this shit to an end
And now you're
Running so fast you can't see what you left behind you
Hoping and showing those feelings don't find you
Only one question left to ask is
Why'd you do it to her
If you had my love we could've been flawlwess
Living in a fantasy world with Taurus
But you melted away before our history
In History
If I'm tempremental or angry
It's usually over you
Well I'm just hoping we can be
More loving, less cruel
It must be 99.9 in here
I'm drowning in Suzanne Vega's tears
Cos I know exactly what she means and
If I was In Liverpool I'd shake her hand
And now you're
Running so fast you can't see what you left behind you
Hoping and showing those feelings don't find you
Only one question left to ask is
Why'd you do it to her
If you had my love we could've been flawlwess
Living in a fantasy world with Taurus
But you melted away before our history
In History
So if you see me out there
And my flirt is searching again
Well you can be rest assured
I don't feel the same for them
Friday, January 15, 2010
A Change Is Gonna Come
This blog is mainly for song lyrics as part of my music blog... but my personal life effects my music a lot...
Me and Sandeep broke up in December...
At first I was singing all my songs I'd writtin in the past about previous break ups to make myself feel better - Kev, Alex, Paul Dietician, Douglas... And then at Christmas I wrote one for Sandeep called "After San".. but now I can't even play... Pain usually inspires me to write but at the moment I feel too dead to even pick up an instrument. I thought I was getting better at dealing with pain, and maybe I am... it's not been long since it happened... I guess I was staying strong but I got sick a couple of days ago and I think that's really brought me down...
January is a cold dark month at the best of times... Tomorrow is the weekend. And I have nice red wine.
Me and Sandeep broke up in December...
At first I was singing all my songs I'd writtin in the past about previous break ups to make myself feel better - Kev, Alex, Paul Dietician, Douglas... And then at Christmas I wrote one for Sandeep called "After San".. but now I can't even play... Pain usually inspires me to write but at the moment I feel too dead to even pick up an instrument. I thought I was getting better at dealing with pain, and maybe I am... it's not been long since it happened... I guess I was staying strong but I got sick a couple of days ago and I think that's really brought me down...
January is a cold dark month at the best of times... Tomorrow is the weekend. And I have nice red wine.
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